Sunday, January 20, 2008

Boo hoo.


Ok. I am going to get real here for a minute. It is not going to be pretty, but it is how I'm feeling these days.
I am sick of this. I'm over it. I am tired of waiting...and unfortunatly there is more waiting to be done. I long with everything inside of me to see my son, to learn everything there is to know about him, to know who he is and what his little personality is like. Warning! Here comes the pitty party...
I feel like I am getting jipped. When we started this adoption in March of 2006 it was a 6 month wait to get your child....now by the time we get him home it will be over a year. Everyone elses referrals for baby boys have taken 11 or 12 weeks for a referral...this week will be 15 weeks of waiting for us. Barf. Everyone else got to have their glorious referral day when they posted the most adorable pics you've ever seen of their precious babes and we all oooed and aaawed....now we are not allowed to post pics of our baby until after the court date, so no one gets to oooh and aaaw over Malak....boo. I want all my dear blog friends to see him!! There are big reasons as to why we can't post his picture and I am more than happy to comply if that is what the Ethiopian government and Gladney think is right and safe for Malak until he is legaly ours. I am just being selfish for a second and getting out my grade school whining. :)

Ok. I think I got it out of my system. I think I can go back to being a grown up and pull it together and just rely on the Lord, knowing that He knows who Malak is and is getting him ready for us.
Sorry for the pitty party, I just had to get it out of my system. Maybe I should go outside and take some jumping pics...that is sure to brighten my day!

18 comments:

Amy said...

Boo Hoo indeed. You are entitled to a little pity party.

Your referral is coming...It is, It is, It is.
Tsotsi told me.

WE CAN'T WAIT!!!!!
Love you guys!

Chris & Jess said...

Tara,
Although I am a mere two weeks into waiting, I have been checking your blog non-stop for weeks, hoping to see you doing the referral happy dance. I've been praying for you, and it WILL be here! You are so close! Malak is on his way!
You give us newbies HOPE!
Jess

The Roberts Family said...

Hugs to you real girl. :) We've all been there and had our "moments". It's gotta be nearin' time. Keep on hangin' in there ..... He's gonna be scrumptious! :) Blessings, Shelly

Natalie Fournet said...

Your jumping pictures bring a smile to my pitty party. I actually had a pity party with my hubby over dinner tonight. I too am tired of waiting, and I am sad about not posting pics. we were trying to be creative of how to share the pics....as you know we will want to!!! Praying your day comes soon!!! Natalie

Jocelyn said...

Kerri and I talked about you today...I had mentioned that you hadn't blogged in a while and she said that you were probably stressed from all this waiting:-( I know you are so sick of it and I am hopeful that this will be your week!! I know you want to plaster little Malak's picture all over...don't worry, we all know amazing he is and that he is beautiful!! This is a given! I am praying that your wait to see your baby boy is over very soon..hang in there!! You are allowed to have pity parties...that is what we are here for, to help you through them.

The Breedlove family said...

I am sorry that you feel sad!! I hope that you get to see little Malak's face really soon. It REALLY needs to be in the next two weeks...those are my selfish reasons coming out now :)

You will FOR SURE have to email me as soon as that referral comes in...with a picture attached.

Amy

the albertsons said...

Ugh. I know. It's so hard. Really, it's hard until we can all bring our babies home. The cool thing is that your son exists. It's so weird to know that before you get any info. I'm sorry. I know it just sucks for you right now. I'm barely on the other side of that wait, and now on to the next one. You need to get your frustrations out, and we're the perfect audience! Because we all understand. And support you. You may throw as many pity parties as you'd like :).
I can't wait for you to describe your sweet son's face to us :). And of course, after the fastest court date it history, we can see his face and admire his beauty!
hang in there...
becca

Farmboy and Buttercup said...

LOVED your post. We are right there with you. We are at 15 + weeks. Barf is exactly right!!! Take care and know you are not alone. Hope we both have great news really soon.

Sharon

crazy thorne's said...

Can I join in on your pity party? I had one last week but I am willing to have another one with you! The toddler wait sucks as well! As soon as I get my next post up you will have to check it out. I had my daughter do some jumping to give you some competition. Our family is just a little competitive! I thought the referrals would be abundant last week. They have to be coming but it is obviously not fast enough. I sure hope the court dates don't drag on as long as the referral times. On the photo's... One idea would be to make a photo page and then email it to everyone. We could make a email list so we can all share our precious little ones. What do you think? I have a few emails of bloggers and we could collect and share them with everyones permission. Just and idea, do you think it will work? It is more time for us but isnt that what this has all been about. Let me know. pam@thornemail.com Blessings, Pam

Jen said...

Love you. It sucks. It's like a pregnancy gone seriously awry! I would just like you to really enjoy, for my benefit, being skinny with a baby all at the same time. That would just be great.

Kerri said...

I was guessing that you were in a referral-wait funk. Hope you see your sweet little Malak's face soon and we're all anxiously awaiting the day when you will be able to share him with everyone else.
Hugs,
Kerri and Ruby

Drew said...

ugh, that's retarded. Say you won't email every single blog person with Mal's pic!

you could have a special blog post where everyone could comment on the email you sent out!

If it makes you feel any better, Malak probably won't have much of a personality for a while and there won't be too much to know about him other than the smell of his poop...I imagine. All the same, I can't wait to see him!

emily said...

Tara,
You are human my friend, you are most definitely allowed to have an all out pity party now and then! Waiting really stinks, I so feel your pain:)

Hang in there! I can't wait to see his sweet little face either-- via email of course!

crazy thorne's said...

Tara, email me so I can give you some info and we can share off the blog. pam@thornemail.com

Stacie said...

UGH - waiting stinks. It's okay to have a pity party. And it also stinks to not be able to post pics. I was so jealous of people who got to before court b/c we weren't allowed to (AND I REALLY WANTED TO!). Of course, I understand the reasons, but it is still hard to hold back when you want to share those pictures with everyone. That day will come too though. I'm really hoping for good news this week!!!

familyinflux said...

I am feeling your frustration. It is so difficult not to think about the wait all the time. Hang in there. It will be so worth it.
Dauray

Laura said...

You go right ahead and pout sister...you're allowed. I'm pouting too and I'm not even close to referral time. I'm so bummed over this whole no pics/no info until after court thing. I know it's to protect our babes but dang.... Yes, you must come up with another way to share him with us. By the time my referral comes around I will have found some super sneaky way to get little Mercy's pic to all my blogging friends. You better still be around when that finally happens. Don't forget about me once Malak gets here. :) Hang in there sweet pea! Love ya!

Kimberly Baggett said...

Tara...
We are waiting for siblings at 12+ weeks, so....I am with you sister! UGH! The wait is awful and don't feel bad...we have all had our pity parties (I have had several!!) God's strength shows best in us when we are weak, so at least that is a big plus! As far as the posting pictures, I wonder if we could set up a yahoo! group just for posting all of our referral pix since a yahoo group has to be signed into! Then everyone would have a safe place to post pictures but still have to joy of "showing off" our little beauties!! Just think...where there is a will, there is a way for sure!! Let's brainstorm!